The frequency of disasters – from floods, to earthquakes, hurricanes and war – is borderline desensitizing. There’s one thing, however, that never fails to fill me with hope: no matter where tragedy strikes, people and institutions always rally with help for those affected.

Due to the nature of these now-constant emergencies, charitable giving must be swift – seconds matter, lives are at stake. As a result, the general public, as well as scores of fundraising and philanthropy professionals, are being conditioned to give (and to ask) reactively and fast. This makes it difficult to practice a fundamental step of good relationship-based fundraising: patience. Many Trustees and CEOs don’t like to hear that it may take between 18 to 24 months of cultivation before securing a major gift (irrespective of how you define major) from a new donor.

Again, the scale of most problems – particularly to those actively working to solve those problems – is tangible and immediate. That’s why every organization dependent on voluntary income must have a diversified approach to income generation that includes the type of fundraising built on long-standing relationships that take months, and even years, to bear fruit.

I started my career as a major gifts officer at the New York Public Library. I raised money for a wide variety of projects, everything from the acquisition of papers of prominent authors to the renovation of the lions that guard the flagship 42^nd Street building. Early in my tenure, I was taught by more senior fundraisers the importance of waiting for the ideal time to solicit a donor. Knowing that the 25^th anniversary of an award established in her honour was two years away, I worked with colleagues to develop a cultivation strategy for an individual donor that resulted in her making a major gift to celebrate the occasion.

‘People give to people. People tend to give more when solicited by people who’ve taken the time to build a genuine relationship with them’

The cultivation consisted of event invites, a tour of the Library, a breakfast with the Library’s President, and three different meals with me where we talked about everything from her career as a journalist, my favorite New York restaurants, and my upcoming wedding. During each of these touchpoints, there was no solicitation. The solicitation came in the form of a letter, written by me and signed by the President, 18 months after our first lunch. Everyone knew, including the donor, that there would eventually be a chat about money. But given the quantum involved (six figures), the approved strategy centered on first re-engaging her with the Library and developing a personal connection. We got to know each other; so much so that shortly after I got married, a surprise gift arrived from her.

Cultivation touch points can feel pointless in the moment but part of having patience is keeping the faith and trusting that if you build a relationship effectively, it will pay dividends. It’s also worth noting that one does not need a fancy building or Michelin star meal to make an impression or to deepen a connection with a donor. We were leveraging the assets we had for relationship-building; a simple coffee and croissant, a sit-down chat with an implementation partner, or a personalized email with some pictures are just as effective.

Throughout my fundraising career, the more patience I had to invest in developing a meaningful connection with a donor, the more they tended to give. While this is no ironclad rule or guarantee, there’s a level of truth and lived experience in this. People give to people. People tend to give more when solicited by people who’ve taken the time to build a genuine relationship with them. This is true at both the individual and the institutional levels; it is also true whether you’re fundraising to build a new children’s room at a neighborhood library or to facilitate the rollout of a life-saving vaccine.

The scale of the social and environmental problems that need tackling is so large, that it is understandably difficult to be patient. But patient fundraisers, along with organizational leadership, must be if they want to build long-standing sustainable relationships with their donors. No one, irrespective of giving capacity, likes being made to feel as if they are a cash machine, even when there’s a natural disaster that requires immediate action.

It takes time and patience to build the type of relationship that results in regular giving at the major gift level. Institutions change their giving strategies regularly; the public (and media) also refocus frequently. While donors who you’ve built relationships with can change their charitable priorities (donor fatigue is real) they tend to be the most loyal advocates. Think about your own portfolio. Odds are that many of your regular donors (and those who show up to your events, reshare your social media posts, and run marathons on your behalf), have a personal relationship with you. A relationship that’s been nurtured over months and years.

Trustees and CEOs would do well to acknowledge, encourage, and reward good cultivation for the sake of relationship building. The best time to start investing in a relationship-based fundraising strategy was two years ago. The second-best time? Today. You can’t short-circuit time. So embrace it. Even the most enlightened and generous donor – those that give big, unrestricted multi-year gifts with no strings attached (or in-depth reporting required) – will dig deeper into their pockets if you’ve taken the time and put the effort in to patiently (and strategically) build a relationship with them.

Carlos Miranda is the founder of I.G. Advisors